tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79235415547971395792024-03-19T10:33:12.675-07:00Interesting Enough to Write AboutIf it is interesting to me, I will write about it. This is compilation of stories and commentaries. You will not learn much, but that is not my goal. My only goals are to practice my writing and to make you laugh. I am hopeful. Some Topics (for the search engines): People, sea stories, flying, port calls, military life, are you still reading?, playing volleyball with Val Kilmer, Kick Ass Jet Pilot Stuff, helos are for sissies, my idiot dog, I need to get a life.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17923403446155391723noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7923541554797139579.post-65607504986805664672012-12-28T19:17:00.000-08:002013-01-01T14:52:13.836-08:00OUR LEAST FAVORITE AIRLINE PASSENGERS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>Thoughtless</b><i> - <span class="ssens"><i class="sn"></i><b></b> insufficiently alert <b>:</b> devoid of thought <b>: </b></span></i><span class="ssens"><i>lacking concern for others <b>:</b> <span class="vi">rude and <i>inconsiderate</i> behavior</span></i> </span><br />
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Perhaps the most ill-considered sentence ever to breach my lips was aimed at a TSA agent in a time-critical moment of frustration. It was shortly after 9/11 and the airports were still in disarray. I was on military travel orders, and due to the increased security measures, I was late. For some reason, I was pulled aside, patted down and questioned at length by a TSA agent<i>. </i>I didn<i>'</i>t want to miss my flight<i>,</i> and I felt that I needed to convince them I wasn't a terrorist. Sooo, I thought I'd speed things up a bit by informing him, <span style="font-size: small;">"Dude, I carry bombs on aircraft for a living<b>...</b>"</span><br />
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As it turns out, if you are hoping to expedite the process - this is NOT the right thing to say to a TSA agent, not ever. Not even if it <b>IS</b> an accurate description of your job. The only thing that saved me was the fact that even a real terrorist would never say something so incredibly stupid, not even if you water-board them. <br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhJXUAojlQeWjXRPKL610DdQVEpghANlRXDPE8cFxIcfbl5qOkzmTWBwNucF6OLYwtZeu90HVUckwAFhD_RMKxcDYhtCGEHMmpryqexD7AfA2YJj9FJpNs3OtUPBHmfF8zbrzUmR0F9ypw/s1600/F18+Ordnance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhJXUAojlQeWjXRPKL610DdQVEpghANlRXDPE8cFxIcfbl5qOkzmTWBwNucF6OLYwtZeu90HVUckwAFhD_RMKxcDYhtCGEHMmpryqexD7AfA2YJj9FJpNs3OtUPBHmfF8zbrzUmR0F9ypw/s200/F18+Ordnance.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How I intended to portray myself.</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; height: 243px; text-align: left; width: 180px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrxOTiUn1vI-355WZsb-9NxcjCI1BtoOlAxzzlOPkXBc2xSLE3Qt-IdUjU-i7UN12tWVMHnfsn9YG3WLSihPmbLC6i3D8PXI8GVMHuy33_THQlqjIRQlitvYzYCKA0dlTKpJLhgixNzkTs/s1600/Terrorist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrxOTiUn1vI-355WZsb-9NxcjCI1BtoOlAxzzlOPkXBc2xSLE3Qt-IdUjU-i7UN12tWVMHnfsn9YG3WLSihPmbLC6i3D8PXI8GVMHuy33_THQlqjIRQlitvYzYCKA0dlTKpJLhgixNzkTs/s320/Terrorist.jpg" width="243" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What TSA heard.</td></tr>
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From that time on I have restricted myself to simple greetings and pleasantries while traveling, thus removing myself from the long list of thoughtless peoople who seem to possess an affinity for air travel. I will point out some of my least favorite travelers - because if I can change just one person's behavior by shaming them, it will be worth it. As I am not currently in the presence of a TSA agent, I will skip the pleasantries and call it like I see it.<br />
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<b>Here are just some of the folks who make air travel as much fun as walking to your destination (barefoot):</b><br />
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<b>Chubby McButterpants</b> - If chunks of your body spill onto or
over the armrest, you should not fly coach. (You should also try eating
a carrot every once in a while.) I feel you should have to buy two seats; after
all it seems that you can afford twice as much food as the rest of us. <br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDHbbm7P4NaSpDv5AtHmebbrZRUtmR4sJL2k8DFWn67kIv_IuUQRvDD6RJUbJ5VZu1JPw_D5LSnXtRj47g45ZyfsvioCY55aK9bAFYCbMzJFFTGViI3pGnkdkYbGw7F9dBOBPKCSEXLtGE/s1600/airport+too+fat.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDHbbm7P4NaSpDv5AtHmebbrZRUtmR4sJL2k8DFWn67kIv_IuUQRvDD6RJUbJ5VZu1JPw_D5LSnXtRj47g45ZyfsvioCY55aK9bAFYCbMzJFFTGViI3pGnkdkYbGw7F9dBOBPKCSEXLtGE/s320/airport+too+fat.png" width="289" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If she sits next to YOU, look at the bright side...<br />
she probably brought some extra snacks!</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEcoMVNVXHR-Q5iu_d2Gkuqw4gWLTTChGMXgZeFKrsWU_bjWeIaIgO6u437_HznC31CIw0vGj2MbdyewQhROyAPK-0ZTvh9_PUmOrnGlIRPERmtqku6caxewfKVEjPr-__cM30MjiOWlYO/s1600/airport+fail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEcoMVNVXHR-Q5iu_d2Gkuqw4gWLTTChGMXgZeFKrsWU_bjWeIaIgO6u437_HznC31CIw0vGj2MbdyewQhROyAPK-0ZTvh9_PUmOrnGlIRPERmtqku6caxewfKVEjPr-__cM30MjiOWlYO/s320/airport+fail.jpg" width="249" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There were drink cart issues, no doubt.</td></tr>
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<b> </b><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFIoDgmWH1sOlsYAmSdP7aLayUM2z5LN8fHsUdlLYdsdtJHIqDpQKXF3jCrUSfZIxsUllQhpXkNvOEpnRJb9eGGVdgZxlRO7oVhHuqsyzRKne3uPdKxQgkOn0IKX1x58XXFKtVGEyj675r/s1600/Airport+too+many+bags.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFIoDgmWH1sOlsYAmSdP7aLayUM2z5LN8fHsUdlLYdsdtJHIqDpQKXF3jCrUSfZIxsUllQhpXkNvOEpnRJb9eGGVdgZxlRO7oVhHuqsyzRKne3uPdKxQgkOn0IKX1x58XXFKtVGEyj675r/s200/Airport+too+many+bags.jpg" width="160" /></a><b>Joe Bags</b> - He or she is the idiot who brings excessive carry-on luggage in order to save a little time and/or $25. Sure, they used a bungee cord to "combine" four pieces of luggage, but there is a finite amount of overhead space and they took the lion's share. <br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1jJze8yG1PS8aTSiBIZ3GZ5ufWYuUJk3LoCLD9OL5WY84MoZ3sCJfWRKybIZOhKXwFgRdDMdn2UpE_7ztEDdoV2_c1saftcq7qWGVLP7t4N001U4asUNVrUHSijtl-MyFvcLwTZH7hNhX/s1600/airport+tetris+fail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1jJze8yG1PS8aTSiBIZ3GZ5ufWYuUJk3LoCLD9OL5WY84MoZ3sCJfWRKybIZOhKXwFgRdDMdn2UpE_7ztEDdoV2_c1saftcq7qWGVLP7t4N001U4asUNVrUHSijtl-MyFvcLwTZH7hNhX/s200/airport+tetris+fail.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://xseanx123.deviantart.com/art/Tetris-Fail-173673920" target="_blank">he needs to wear this</a></td></tr>
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<b>"Me Luggage no Fit" guy</b> - This moron is a close and inbred relative of Joe Bags. Even simple geometric shapes and sizes crush his or her simple circuit mind. Lacking all situational awareness, they don't even realize there are other passengers on the plane and they have determined that the overhead compartment was custom built for their stuff alone. Despite repeated announcements <b>not to do this</b>: they selfishly occupy the entire space by putting every piece of their luggage in SIDEWAYS, as well as their purse, retail bags, outerwear, etc. If you are one of these people I offer the following pictures. (Even a sea monkey can figure it out with pictures!)<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnrsB5kWOVdj1S_YorBBM4YuTzLmd7b8INislXFZyhrbYnoIlB4lfuB4-Rbd0hc3RhWeLB4CGMvIj6gYBG2vV8jZgEgQyX0nOjHkmNxDroKptvEmauyDvqdFx519QFmy2hGlPjQGRZcwB3/s1600/airport+overhead+right.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnrsB5kWOVdj1S_YorBBM4YuTzLmd7b8INislXFZyhrbYnoIlB4lfuB4-Rbd0hc3RhWeLB4CGMvIj6gYBG2vV8jZgEgQyX0nOjHkmNxDroKptvEmauyDvqdFx519QFmy2hGlPjQGRZcwB3/s200/airport+overhead+right.JPG" width="269" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hooray, you did it!</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfifFeWxRcgwu6OygStdorDIKeM5IDeIVr81Bo08aVf11HARG4-iYuxF8WcPTe8kfyPT26S_oJ-dAzvXZJTUvKZoE4Sjog06ItSUlBF1tWPZYIk455Okr24vCEeYcQmXNndIcjlaR9Jud5/s1600/airport+overhead+wrong.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfifFeWxRcgwu6OygStdorDIKeM5IDeIVr81Bo08aVf11HARG4-iYuxF8WcPTe8kfyPT26S_oJ-dAzvXZJTUvKZoE4Sjog06ItSUlBF1tWPZYIk455Okr24vCEeYcQmXNndIcjlaR9Jud5/s200/airport+overhead+wrong.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Terrible. Try again.</td></tr>
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<b>"I Forgot How to Dress Myself" guy</b> - If you are over the age of three, you should have to comb your hair and wear your big boy clothes in order to board an airplane, and I don't care if your wife isn't there to dress you. NEWSFLASH: Unless you own your own jet, PJs and sweats are <b>not</b> considered appropriate for air travel (even if they have Chuck Norris pictures all over them). By the way, this fad of being "nap ready" wherever you go (not just in airports) is the social equivalent of your self-esteem waving a white flag. Maybe you should just emblazon <span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">"I Give Up on Life"</span> on a potato sack and wear that. <br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; height: 433px; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left; width: 277px;"><tbody>
<tr><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD9YzgPYzfuRdf5Vv_nvjMSQRlwO9wRf3CDGQRzJfU_cXLFXmJrChtPMEA9YYtQCkZ62CwKdg-ZmXXRMQErvGBaA4d17x8HuWF6gMZHX3VC-fI_bOClZM9t8ZjHeXpawllhFvtkEOsXv5Z/s1600/airport+fashion+fail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD9YzgPYzfuRdf5Vv_nvjMSQRlwO9wRf3CDGQRzJfU_cXLFXmJrChtPMEA9YYtQCkZ62CwKdg-ZmXXRMQErvGBaA4d17x8HuWF6gMZHX3VC-fI_bOClZM9t8ZjHeXpawllhFvtkEOsXv5Z/s400/airport+fashion+fail.jpg" width="267" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td></tr>
<tr><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td></tr>
<tr><td valign="top"><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></td><td valign="top"><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></td><td valign="top"><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">NOT OK to Board. In fact, someone please punch this guy in the throat.</td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
<tr><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXKeSQaxxWL8OHiRPcgzsOqHOjufkwqLFj_PsORSITB-suACXbMeaTOGiPsapgNPgI_mnN5BOiRd-g6XeZ-0fQofsycqEcY95EGYANWUlzCnfbRjamv0tsl10U7l7pI89KOov9wAvJ4uVF/s1600/airport+work+uniform.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="347" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXKeSQaxxWL8OHiRPcgzsOqHOjufkwqLFj_PsORSITB-suACXbMeaTOGiPsapgNPgI_mnN5BOiRd-g6XeZ-0fQofsycqEcY95EGYANWUlzCnfbRjamv0tsl10U7l7pI89KOov9wAvJ4uVF/s320/airport+work+uniform.jpg" width="251" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"></td></tr>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;" valign="top"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;" valign="top"><br /></td><td style="text-align: center;" valign="top"><br /></td><td style="text-align: justify;" valign="top"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Technically, as a member of the lingerie<span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span>football league, she is in her work uniform.<span style="font-size: x-small;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;">Sure, </span>I know she isn't wearing a tie<span style="font-size: x-small;">, but this is my blog, and</span></span> I'm go<span style="font-size: x-small;">ing to</span> have to say "OK to <span style="font-size: x-small;">Board" on</span> this one. </span> </td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"></td></tr>
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<b>Zone Ninjas</b> - The rough Hebrew translation of 'Zone 8' or 'Zone C' is: <i>"you're screwed"</i>. You have been deemed less favorable than every other zone. Actually, you are THE LEAST PREFERRED customers of that airline. Just so you know, if the plane goes down in the Andes, you will most likely be eaten first - even before the remaining peanuts and the customers from better zones who are already dead. You are destined for a middle seat and your bags ain't gonna make it into the overhead, just deal with it or get a frequent flyer card. <br />
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Now please do <strike>zones less than 8</strike> <b>everyone else</b> a favor and sit down so the rest of us can board without having to weave our way through you. Trust me, your not-so-covert geographical repositioning in front of the gate isn't going to earn you a better seat, and the gate agent isn't going to forget how to count or "mix it up a little" by skipping to your crappy zone first. This rule applies for the people in zones 3-7 too.<br />
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Why the mob mentality? There aren't any TVs to loot down that jet-way.<br />
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Note: Perhaps the biggest jerks in the airport are the "<b>Zone Frauds</b>". These are the dishonest few who attempt to board in an earlier zone. May you all someday experience the following shame:<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DP2Dp0rRUw4" target="_blank">Zowned</a> </div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWvzQvyksTVzy63WEGQ_G-gPgp7Ui6tB2iFkgiQ0kCUISuwgyLJ5SioVjXij3usNsHrP77kpmsDaJkEL-4K_jMpBIcqhYdOUR136yp3aYnvWpC5NHL5efICm-9zMFPhgXcRu23mPYMv9_S/s1600/airport+crying-kid-with-snot-bubble.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="127" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWvzQvyksTVzy63WEGQ_G-gPgp7Ui6tB2iFkgiQ0kCUISuwgyLJ5SioVjXij3usNsHrP77kpmsDaJkEL-4K_jMpBIcqhYdOUR136yp3aYnvWpC5NHL5efICm-9zMFPhgXcRu23mPYMv9_S/s200/airport+crying-kid-with-snot-bubble.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The snot bubble says it all.</td></tr>
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<b>Non-Stop Crying Kid</b> - <i>I understand little fella, you're scared, you
want to move around and play, but Mommy won't let you. There is a
good reason for that, cowpoke</i>... the rest of us want to throw you off the
airplane. Now please go to sleep or watch Barney! (Though not under the category of "thoughtless idiot", these ankle-biters are my second least favorite traveling companions - right before terrorists armed with box cutters)<br />
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Parents, a piece of advice - <a href="http://www.benadryl.com/" target="_blank">Benadryl</a>. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(Don't worry, the rest of us won't say anything if your child isn't quite 6 yet<span style="font-size: x-small;">.</span>)</span><br />
Frequent flyers, your word is - <a href="https://www.google.com/shopping/product/17318094740115664037?q=bose%20noise%20cancelling%20headphones&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=57&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.1355534169,d.b2I&bpcl=40096503&biw=1421&bih=727&sa=X&ei=bUvdUNChL8ry2gWq3YGoAQ&ved=0CIABEOUNMAA" target="_blank">BoseQuietComfort</a><b> </b><b><br /></b><br />
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<i> Last minute add-on:</i> <b>Parent</b> of the <b>Continually Kicking the Back of My Seat Kid</b> - Instead of repeatedly and politely asking you to have your little monster stop; someday I'm gonna snap, come over that seat. <br />
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<b>First Class</b> - I don't know why I don't like you... after all, I want to be up there with you. I'll think of a reason later, snobs.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTFX2g1q2PSOZgtIIv1v3qz70j9oxahd_8Z89Tn9FUQdUcr5VqvBnS-o9cJSZu7krJrtqdKS8ANrURdRzVBHO7bvVzPL5DUuIprsGcWDGRi82rxdLHvO23FGY9rda6qhP9dPnCxtV24bU0/s1600/airport+first+class.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTFX2g1q2PSOZgtIIv1v3qz70j9oxahd_8Z89Tn9FUQdUcr5VqvBnS-o9cJSZu7krJrtqdKS8ANrURdRzVBHO7bvVzPL5DUuIprsGcWDGRi82rxdLHvO23FGY9rda6qhP9dPnCxtV24bU0/s320/airport+first+class.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red;"> <span style="color: black;">Betcha THEY have Grey Poupon.</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I haven't forgotten you "Mr. Still Covertly Using my Cell Phone During Takeoff" or you "Mrs. Too Clueless to Stand on the Right Side of the Moving Walkway" or you "Mr. Take up Three Seats at the Gate" I'll get to you later. <br />
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As you can tell, I am just scratching the surface here, but I realize that most people who read blogs suffer from severe ADHD. If you made it this far, all I can say is NICE WORK! That was a lot of reading and there were even a couple big words in there! You probably want to go update your Facebook status or look at pictures of puppies. Oh look, there you go! (I aim to please.)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicXjP6Gb3FwWsdZZofawt0ST0mwUh-KDGZ4n1mVhymFUbRwB7Ni3Oibcpe7fQhQLEoEy9A12G8NGvDPag0f-9IyzPWK8VAHsp3KErsTzg9eI95MKkSFk5zsuExnt1vlRvx-Se8j53HZ1VY/s1600/dog+puppy+scared.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicXjP6Gb3FwWsdZZofawt0ST0mwUh-KDGZ4n1mVhymFUbRwB7Ni3Oibcpe7fQhQLEoEy9A12G8NGvDPag0f-9IyzPWK8VAHsp3KErsTzg9eI95MKkSFk5zsuExnt1vlRvx-Se8j53HZ1VY/s320/dog+puppy+scared.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17923403446155391723noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7923541554797139579.post-88705327776540426672012-12-22T22:06:00.000-08:002012-12-28T19:06:48.403-08:00My Idiot Dog - Out on Parole and Breakin All the Rules<span class="hw"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="hw"> </span><span class="hw"> </span><span class="hw"><span style="font-size: large;">Chapter II</span> </span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw" style="font-size: x-small;">rampage<i>: v. </i></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">to rush about in an angry, violent, or agitated fashion</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> n.</i><b> </b>angry or destructive behavior</span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw"> We
left together, a man and a yellow dog. Her mood improved greatly as
the shelter doors closed behind us and like a prisoner on work release,
she seemed to be happy </span><span class="hw">just </span><span class="hw">to be outside, away from her confines. On this short walk, she looked like a normal, well-adjusted dog. <i>That's more like it girl. </i>It
was hard to believe that only moments before she practically turned
herself inside-out performing her patented "please don't beat me"
maneuver. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw"> I discovered that
she possessed remarkable strength for a one year old, 40 lb dog. As
she darted about taking in the smells, I attempted a "heel" command -
but I may as well have said "Dirka-Dirka". She had only the most
rudimentary of training, and I would have to remedy that. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw">Getting her into the truck was easy. </span><span class="hw">Before the passenger door even stressed the hinges, </span><span class="hw">she was in her seat following an effortless leap. <i>Wow, she can jump.</i> I closed the door behind her, and she quickly decided to cross over and take <b>my</b> seat. <i>How cute, she thinks she is going to drive. </i></span><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3-clIh7ezTwaeqGw_TzrSQO-ZAps9V8FJOYoo3YBD46uwlUXSUKc6NJLMCMw6QAUtru4f7iL6w-EFFT1hxvRcYFrF7_wqhhNjcm5O8UV-4_KwWOT4u3oxeB10VRXhE2PQP8uRvJWQJZtd/s1600/KT+Nugget2.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3-clIh7ezTwaeqGw_TzrSQO-ZAps9V8FJOYoo3YBD46uwlUXSUKc6NJLMCMw6QAUtru4f7iL6w-EFFT1hxvRcYFrF7_wqhhNjcm5O8UV-4_KwWOT4u3oxeB10VRXhE2PQP8uRvJWQJZtd/s320/KT+Nugget2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Idiot Dog in "play mode". Looks normal, eh?</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="hw"> I opened my door and informed her
that she wasn't old enough to drive. "Move over", I said. She didn't
move. I attempted to gently nudge her back to the other side. She
didn't budge. I pushed a little harder and she used Newton's third law
to thwart my efforts. She was determined to keep the driver's seat.
This would be the second time she demonstrated a unique talent.
Apparently, she has the ability to defy the laws of physics by tripling
her own body weight, which allows her seemingly glue herself to any
surface she chooses.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw"> I would
have to crack this nut a different way, so I took her leash and with a
quick "lets go", she happily dismounted the drivers seat and followed me
around the truck, back to the passenger side. Once again she bounded
into her seat, but this time I secured the leash to the side-view
mirror. It worked, but when I got back around to my seat I discovered
that she had the last laugh. She had taken a leak, leaving me a nice
warm, wet seat. <i>Nice work girl, you got me</i>. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw"> After
an uneventful ride home, sitting on a towel, the family was waiting
outside to meet our new addition. She bounded out of the truck and
headed straight for them. When she got close, she lowered her body and
belly crawled the final few yards. She writhed around them slavishly,
but in her over excited state, she did it very quickly. The result was a
hot mess of excitement, grovelling and urination. </span><span class="hw"><i>Pathetic, </i>was the only thought which came to mind. </span><span class="hw">I
could tell that my wife and my other dog were thinking the same thing
because they both looked up at me disappointingly and their expressions'
said it all, <i>of all the dogs you had to choose from..</i>. On the bright side, a potential name popped into my head, <i>we can call her Smeagol</i>! The resemblance in mannerisms was uncanny. <i><span style="color: #e06666;">We will call her that for now, because truth be told, she is no idiot - she just behaves like one half the time.</span></i></span><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPTFXXAF8EoH_jJLLk250Wr3NGAOX_bz20LWgKRKtdLmHMycEXN05UTDSJFLeKlM77W6z1d4mLP3_1_s4RxrzHvZQGxhy7mI9mbp8IpiqmlEoh1nY-RjnWZMuxn8p36nxDFIHOoX-NII3-/s1600/smeagol2.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPTFXXAF8EoH_jJLLk250Wr3NGAOX_bz20LWgKRKtdLmHMycEXN05UTDSJFLeKlM77W6z1d4mLP3_1_s4RxrzHvZQGxhy7mI9mbp8IpiqmlEoh1nY-RjnWZMuxn8p36nxDFIHOoX-NII3-/s1600/smeagol2.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Idiot Dog's bloodline.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="hw">At that time we were living in
navy housing, and I happened to be the Executive Officer of the base.
Part of my job was ensuring the 4,000 residents living on the base
followed the rules, making it paramount that I set a good example. While
outside, dogs were to be on a leash, unless in the back yard or at the
dog park. Smeagol did not care for that rule, and escaped four times in
two days. She didn't even have the common courtesy to put on her
leash. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw"> </span><span class="hw">With each escape came speculation as to how she did it, and we thought we had figured out each time. </span><span class="hw">As
it turns out, I was correct about her jumping ability and at the
current specs, there was no government back yard that could hold her.
She took every opportunity possible to explore the neighborhood. We
even tied her up, but she made quick work of the rope before clearing
the fence and going about her business. To make matters even more
embarrassing, my own security force brought her back to me twice and I
had to put myself on report! </span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw">Her ability to escape posed a problem the first time
the entire family had to leave the house. We couldn't leave her outside
and we didn't know how she would react if we left her alone. Bogey
wanted nothing to do with her, because as far as he was concerned - she
was a bad apple. On the other hand, we would only be gone for an hour,
so we thought she would be fine. Not so much.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw">When
we returned we were greeted by our two dogs. As usual, Bogey greeted
us with enthusiastic restraint, demonstrating his poise and well
mannered temperament. Smeagol on the other hand, cowered on the foyer
tucking one of her front legs under her body while shaking
uncontrollably. </span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyTf2TpBwhvtWoBuKYpbUL2f6ycyjiYFtRfoosa9FzeCfBwdtGbcSQwN1FpITh1A9h1sFjCtt570aVC3CrdeDCm-Ff55tD6q1Oe-cVMNL496dYj-pnJADRjpKB_kxKjsx5wThpZg3XQgfS/s1600/KT+Bogey2.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyTf2TpBwhvtWoBuKYpbUL2f6ycyjiYFtRfoosa9FzeCfBwdtGbcSQwN1FpITh1A9h1sFjCtt570aVC3CrdeDCm-Ff55tD6q1Oe-cVMNL496dYj-pnJADRjpKB_kxKjsx5wThpZg3XQgfS/s320/KT+Bogey2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bogey, world's best dog and Idiot Dog's nemesis </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span class="hw"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Guilty!</b></span> </i>was
all I could think. I gave the order, "Quick, check the rooms!" We
inspected them one by one: Living room, no damage. Dining room, good.
Kitchen, fine. Jackson's room, messy, but nothing out of the
ordinary. Then I heard it. "She killed my dolls!" It was Katie, one
of my twin 10 year old daughters and she was absolutely distraught.
"... and I don't think the American Girl Hospital will be able to fix
them". Then came the waterworks. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw">I inspected the room.</span><span class="hw"><i> Oh the humanity</i>. </span><span class="hw">The
carnage would have impressed Hannibal Lecter. Smeagol had chewed
through three $100 American Girl dolls, but she didn't just rip them up
because t</span><span class="hw">he small pieces on the floor did not equal what was missing.</span><span class="hw">
She actually minced and devoured the heads, limbs, clothes and
accessories on each doll. And by devoured, I mean that I would soon
find the missing pieces in the back yard... once she finished digesting
them. My free $200 dog had increased her net worth by $300+ in one
hour. </span><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8JwL-1ZhIOVdjAvksCQnchine0UxfjyRauSfV4tLFtcdz_FAQFJqNIJzTeiyKHpXoXMws8AOMv1i2KrzYFah4ciBkU3hS28cFDGbGumQSpgU2AfLLsHuKLp2hOCGEFpUFxjR24KacKbUp/s1600/AmericanGirlDolls+copy.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8JwL-1ZhIOVdjAvksCQnchine0UxfjyRauSfV4tLFtcdz_FAQFJqNIJzTeiyKHpXoXMws8AOMv1i2KrzYFah4ciBkU3hS28cFDGbGumQSpgU2AfLLsHuKLp2hOCGEFpUFxjR24KacKbUp/s1600/AmericanGirlDolls+copy.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They made the ultimate sacrifice.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="hw"> Smeagol cowered down the hall
knowing full well what she had done. I was mad, but I knew I had to
restrain myself because she was so fragile. I gave her a stern look and
a deep growl to show my discontent and once again she pushed the limit
by peeing all over the floor while doing her patented "whirling
dervish". </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="hw"> The
vote was 4 to 1 that she return to whence she came. I however,
suspended that sentence and decided to give her one more chance. </span><span class="hw">I always stick up for the underdog, and she was quite literally, THE underdog. </span><span class="hw">She
wasn't going back to prison yet, but she was going into solitary
confinement whenever we left the house. I was off to Petsmart to buy a
kennel. Tack another $75 onto my free $500 dog.</span><span class="hw"> </span><br />
<br />
<span class="hw">To be continued...</span><br />
<span class="hw"><br /></span>
<span class="hw">Next chapter: <i>Idiot Dog Gets a Name (and meets the neighbors.)</i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ffe599;"><i><span class="hw"><b>No dog is ever free</b>. </span></i><i><span class="hw">Even if you get a dog for nothing, they require regular and unscheduled visits to
the vet, which cost a bundle, and the food to feed them is
always on the shopping list.</span></i><i><span class="hw"> I go the extra mile though, and tack on the damage they do because I like to get the <b>real</b>
cost of ownership. However, chewed up toys and furniture are part of
the whole "doggie ownership package". Even well trained dogs cause
damage, especially when they are young - but as long as you don't
begrudge them this behavior, and take steps to correct it - they are
worth every penny. Heck, my $800 yellow lab, Liberty, chewed up a $1200
Persian rug making her my most expensive pet to date, but I'd give
anything in the world to have her back. (Another escape artist, she was
hit and killed by a car during one of her outings. Bogey is her
half-brother.) </span></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #ffe599;"><i><span class="hw">I
believe that our new dog had separation anxiety when we left the house.
That was when she would perform her daring escapes and do the most
damage. Perhaps she was uncertain if we would return and this put her on edge. </span></i><i><span class="hw">Additionally,
our family and our home were all new and very different than what she
was used to - and she does not do well with unfamiliar change. </span></i><i><span class="hw"> </span></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #ffe599;"><i><span class="hw">The dog kennel worked wonders, for her and for our own piece of mind, but we only needed it for a couple of months.</span></i></span><i><span class="hw"><span style="color: #ffe599;"> She finally got the idea, "they always come home and if I am good, I can roam around inside... and torment Bogey."</span> </span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><i><span class="hw"><i>Thank you very much for reading</i>, </span></i><i>I
would appreciate any constructive feedback or stories about your Idiot
Dog. </i></span><br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;"><i>Please feel free to share if you like the story thus far. I hope to someday take Dave Barry's old job!</i></span><br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;">Grrr,</span><br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;"><i>Robert "Mighty" Quinn </i></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17923403446155391723noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7923541554797139579.post-60013285630345283512012-12-20T19:26:00.000-08:002012-12-24T09:09:18.022-08:00My Early Years - From Dropout to Naval Aviator<i>When people ask me how I became a Naval Aviator, they assume that it must have been my childhood dream and that I worked diligently to achieve that dream. That may be true of many pilots, it is not my story at all. I never built models of airplanes or dreamed of flying high performance aircraft when I was young. Becoming a pilot was fortunate combination of dissatisfaction and timing (and seemed like a good way to pick up chicks.)</i> <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiqVXYxrrzU21uWtV3QBKj50u1yyU86sb4hicenRvMO9f6liqnM8iEBvDMQ1hTm_bdeCOTVOS7btG90844Rus1qtieSE59N21LCIgK4hjEi8591m7mpbzLMWbZEXHsZ7_6LN3eNZfb_iQF/s1600/last+station+wagon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiqVXYxrrzU21uWtV3QBKj50u1yyU86sb4hicenRvMO9f6liqnM8iEBvDMQ1hTm_bdeCOTVOS7btG90844Rus1qtieSE59N21LCIgK4hjEi8591m7mpbzLMWbZEXHsZ7_6LN3eNZfb_iQF/s320/last+station+wagon.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eventually, everyone rides in one.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Before I was on my own, I lived the life of a "Navy Brat". This entailed relocating seven times with my three siblings a scraggly cat in our '72 Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser station wagon. It had the
backward facing rumble seats in the rear, where your only view was the traffic behind you. The feature was cool, because when you gave the right combination of
hand signals, you could get your Dad in a fist fight with a trucker. (I digress, and so soon)<br />
<br />
Due to the inopportune timing of my father's
military orders, I often had to change schools in the middle of the school year. Some of my earliest memories were of being displayed at the front
of the class and introduced by the familiar, "settle down children, we have a new
student..." Yeah, I was that kid four times, and in hindsight it
explains a lot.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhILVrYcGQHwQS_pnmwJMkgMjgADr-0Lsh6K9g1khWeirZVL25oFPL4f847aa2lFSFTDSg8VUjhY-VWgRCRcLmSOx_kooJA1HPjbf2tjdTeE1bRjvyo6cLAPgde9F6NgISoCq4yPzsGH1ys/s1600/navy_brat.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijE6WmpK2i5vdhWCq2z3gbYI-J3SoxEctf5x6BB7L255wqLjc7RxNH1v64Rq3eoTPUeuGRbaD-Sl7qlzsXb5TCVsTOyeb4w-xOOdN6IsgzWVdj91a60fwBReEtUIEJxoZUo5Zz1kJziZJU/s1600/dearMom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijE6WmpK2i5vdhWCq2z3gbYI-J3SoxEctf5x6BB7L255wqLjc7RxNH1v64Rq3eoTPUeuGRbaD-Sl7qlzsXb5TCVsTOyeb4w-xOOdN6IsgzWVdj91a60fwBReEtUIEJxoZUo5Zz1kJziZJU/s200/dearMom.jpg" width="200" /></a>Many awkward years passed and after a particularly mediocre high school experience, I gave dropping
out of college a try. Within a year I found myself teetering on the brink of the "collegiate abyss" (the point where your GPA is mathematically impossible to salvage). Needing to make a change, I
decided to take a long summer vacation to the hottest place on Earth - Parris Island, SC. My "travel agent" said that the Marine Corps
would pay for the whole thing. Bonus!<br />
<br />
I wasn't convinced that the military lifestyle was for me, so I had decided to test the water first by joining the USMC Reserves. As it turns out, being a reservist was a point of
contention with my Drill Instructors as was my year of college. I was known as "Half-Assed College Boy". (Though Drill Instructors can be some of the funniest people on the planet, they didn't really put a lot of time into my nickname.) <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl7gyidWiVV-B5z_ALjAPCIerzPKAZWX3wVpVHIElpYuEi6LOxiU4M71Ordr9qCQsCJjptR9xRKNoTeyPU3gzXn4v8Krgp-L5WThSQRtWSkYXwsLpMkV5i5tUNePuwrWSJKuHFlYUsSWqr/s1600/bootcamp2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl7gyidWiVV-B5z_ALjAPCIerzPKAZWX3wVpVHIElpYuEi6LOxiU4M71Ordr9qCQsCJjptR9xRKNoTeyPU3gzXn4v8Krgp-L5WThSQRtWSkYXwsLpMkV5i5tUNePuwrWSJKuHFlYUsSWqr/s200/bootcamp2.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A familiar sight for me.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Three months of Marine Corps Boot Camp was one of those unique life experiences I am proud to have completed, but I wouldn't do again if they paid me a million dollars. To keep it short - let's just say that I made it
through and learned some valuable life lessons.<br />
<br />
Because of my "weekend warrior"status, I was able to return to college in the Fall to give learnin' another try. With a spiffy new hair cut and
a lot more discipline, I was able to make it through my second year of college, finishing with a cumulative GPA of 2.6. I was numerically
feasible again. Who would have guessed that doing 250,000 pushups
and hop & pops, all while getting yelled at by remarkably loud
individuals would markedly improve your grades?<br />
<br />
My duties on drill weekends primarily entailed cleaning incredible amounts of clay off
the bottom of jeeps. It got worse when they learned I could type. I continued to attend my "stay at
home" college and cut just enough grass to earn beer money. Thankfully, I was moving forward, but very slowly. It seemed as if I was stuck in first gear, climbing a hill to an unknown destination. Like many college students at that stage in their lives, I didn't know what I wanted to do with myself, nothing really interested me. At some point it occurred do me that: <br />
<br />
A. I should have applied myself more in high school.<br />
<br />
B. I needed purpose in my life. <br />
<br />
I turned out to be correct on both accounts.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhjSp-OVawe__iVaB1JndovVSytdYJ-9SE6gCC2Q71OWdTNUEQRNBeaGdzyr2pWrkFjFqgHDQLCmcdOYswAV5jO3MRfjyH-ATxznykNgs2WWXPdsqypUMx4N6Xfm05ucaoEuyOJ4RHnWti/s1600/aircraft+carrier.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhjSp-OVawe__iVaB1JndovVSytdYJ-9SE6gCC2Q71OWdTNUEQRNBeaGdzyr2pWrkFjFqgHDQLCmcdOYswAV5jO3MRfjyH-ATxznykNgs2WWXPdsqypUMx4N6Xfm05ucaoEuyOJ4RHnWti/s1600/aircraft+carrier.jpg" /></a><b>Timing is everything in life.</b> In
the mid/late 80s the US Navy wanted to build a "600 Ship Navy", and this
armada included a whole bunch of aircraft
carriers. It just so happens that I had seen <i>"The Final Countdown"</i> and <i>"Top Gun"</i>, so I knew a thing
or two about Naval Aviation. I knew that "chicks dig fighter pilots", fighter pilots had cool callsigns, and fighter pilots flew off of those aircraft carriers. That was ALL I
knew, but it was enough. This was my "Ah-Ha moment", and
it would change my life forever.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I wanted to be a fighter pilot!</span><span id="goog_1099786888"></span><span id="goog_1099786889"></span><br />
<br />
I had now a goal, I had direction, and a reason to
apply myself. To this day I thank the greatest President of our times,
Ronald Reagan, and his vision of a Navy that would dominate the seas.<br />
<br />
It just so happened that the Navy <b>was</b> looking for pilots, and a 2.6 GPA was good enough for a guy who may find himself carrying a small tactical nuke over enemy territory with a 40% chance of
returning home alive. They weren't looking for rocket scientists, they needed pilots - and I can tell you from experience that GPA is not a good indicator of a person's flying ability.<br />
<br />
In 1987 you only needed 60 credit hours of college to qualify for the Naval Aviation Cadet Program so I put in my application. After a battery of tests, interviews and a lot of positive reinforcement from my Father, I was accepted into flight school and released from
the Marines. I reported to birthplace of Naval Aviation, Pensacola Florida as Cadet Quinn in May of
1988 at the age of 20. Not bad for a half-assed college boy. <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWmGUFTBiuDjaFFuxYbKLjUui0RZv6ipm468tS0TyapCajcM9KLvZf34HOpXKW5RhHIIKqSMgpR2VQRs681Nwn-2sX7Xgd4Uah2DjNd4M_woDhqCkScRiMlmejPiDYXdzNq6V6aMd1BnIQ/s1600/flightschool1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWmGUFTBiuDjaFFuxYbKLjUui0RZv6ipm468tS0TyapCajcM9KLvZf34HOpXKW5RhHIIKqSMgpR2VQRs681Nwn-2sX7Xgd4Uah2DjNd4M_woDhqCkScRiMlmejPiDYXdzNq6V6aMd1BnIQ/s200/flightschool1.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">US Navy Wings of Gold</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
After a tough start, two years of eating Top
Ramen and a lot of late night studying, I received my Commission as an Ensign and orders to fly the
F/A-18 Hornet, all on the same day. Professionally speaking, 25 May 1990 was the best day of my life. I even got a cool new name -
"Mighty". Sure, I am the only guy with an adjective for a callsign, but
it was better than the poor bastard who got "Judy"!<br />
<br />
The rest is History
and I would probably have to upgrade this free blog to a... not free
blog... to tell the stories which accompany a 24 year
Navy flying career. The are filled with colorful characters, stupid flying
tricks, port call buffoonery, success, failure, and of course - women and cool callsigns. I will have to save those stories for another day... <br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJdDCWvNJtAtlMRIoIfffGjajiwaKKEDuKwYaKLcv-3YWue2py8mmyBYYIMqkcjt0x6sxukm2ygLk7sX8vuHYH8AWB9FNuIML8PUkC1xNAiVWwv0rVFbjcBKf8hu0oDWM4vsv0gGHX17cv/s1600/chicks+dig+pilots.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJdDCWvNJtAtlMRIoIfffGjajiwaKKEDuKwYaKLcv-3YWue2py8mmyBYYIMqkcjt0x6sxukm2ygLk7sX8vuHYH8AWB9FNuIML8PUkC1xNAiVWwv0rVFbjcBKf8hu0oDWM4vsv0gGHX17cv/s400/chicks+dig+pilots.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My initial motivation (Kelly, not Tom)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Thank you for reading!<br />
<br />
Fair Winds and Following Seas, <br />
<br />
Robert "Mighty" QuinnAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17923403446155391723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7923541554797139579.post-35505145407444128502012-12-20T00:29:00.000-08:002013-01-01T15:10:49.118-08:00"Hey Moron, There is a Scrotum on Your Truck. Seriously, Why?"<div class="pseg">
<div class="ds-list">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="hw"></span></span></div>
<div class="ds-list">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="hw">mo·ron</span></span> n.<b><span style="font-size: small;"><i> </i></span> </b>
<i><span style="font-size: small;">A person of mild mental retardation having a mental age of from 7 to
12 years and generally having communication and social skills enabling
some degree of academic or vocational education. <span style="font-size: small;">Th<span style="font-size: small;">e wor<span style="font-size: small;">d <span style="font-size: small;">i</span></span></span>s no longer used due to nega<span style="font-size: small;">tive connotation associated with it<span style="font-size: small;">,</span> <span style="font-size: small;">u<span style="font-size: small;">nless of course a person</span></span></span> decides to <span style="font-size: small;">attach fake testicles to their vehicle.</span></span></span></i></div>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHtKkr-cdWrj_xOmUPWSW2B4iLeUNpOXEx6LPWcpO6gTde5lvBzci6yFwJSy_kGbRrJUbrmNhx2tqhXPJjmBzU7l8fxJQ5OawBN50NfmVOMelES2-bWehxEz4A2oS5c9yYXw5-SakqhoqB/s1600/truck+nuts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHtKkr-cdWrj_xOmUPWSW2B4iLeUNpOXEx6LPWcpO6gTde5lvBzci6yFwJSy_kGbRrJUbrmNhx2tqhXPJjmBzU7l8fxJQ5OawBN50NfmVOMelES2-bWehxEz4A2oS5c9yYXw5-SakqhoqB/s320/truck+nuts.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Was the title of the post enough to grab your attention? <span style="font-size: small;">Well sadly, <span style="font-size: small;">t</span></span>hat is the intent of anyone who decides to display a giant, fake scrotum on <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">the<span style="font-size: small;"> back of the</span>ir</span> <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">ride</span>. What <span style="font-size: small;">THEY</span> don't realize is that<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">their <span style="font-size: small;">vehicle</span> is </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">now <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">the</span> flagship <span style="font-size: small;">for</span> <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">their</span> social <span style="font-size: small;">incompetence</span>.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">What w<span style="font-size: small;">ould</span> compel someone <span style="font-size: small;">to <span style="font-size: small;">make such a pu</span>rchase?<span style="font-size: small;"> I<span style="font-size: small;">t is the social equivalent of <span style="font-size: small;">dancing the <span style="font-size: small;">m</span>acarena<span style="font-size: small;"> and it would be a lot easier and ch<span style="font-size: small;">e<span style="font-size: small;">aper <span style="font-size: small;">if th<span style="font-size: small;">ey just </span>b<span style="font-size: small;">ought</span> a <span style="font-size: small;">sharpie and <span style="font-size: small;">scribbled</span> "<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-size: small;">Me </span>D<span style="font-size: small;">umb</span></i>" on <span style="font-size: small;">their</span> for<span style="font-size: small;">ehead.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></i><span style="font-size: large;">Let's figure out the real cost though:</span><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span></span></span></span></span></i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">New For<span style="font-size: small;">d F-250 Super Duty - <span style="font-size: small;">$<span style="font-size: small;">50</span>,<span style="font-size: small;">000</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Red<span style="font-size: small;">neck Convenience Package - <span style="font-size: small;">$<span style="font-size: small;">4</span>,000</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Lift Kit and<span style="font-size: small;"> Oversized Tires - <span style="font-size: small;">$<span style="font-size: small;">6</span>,000</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cost of<span style="font-size: small;"> TruckNuts - <span style="font-size: small;">Who knows<span style="font-size: small;"><i>...</i></span> <span style="font-size: small;">(W</span>hat is a person<span style="font-size: small;">'s dignity and self<span style="font-size: small;">-esteem going for these days?)</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span> </span> </span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="height: 273px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right; width: 314px;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc6voymDq9JbEyHLtDEpih6Nbeqk65Sl-_wHg8130Ohz608RkpBiA-RA0D5mN0o8-Bz5405ZkAlX4AJ-RjdqBAUcgMEtGCXpZuHne-trF_gKJIpV_4zdtrdtDerLknHduqscxH6EWhKUXl/s1600/truck+nuts+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc6voymDq9JbEyHLtDEpih6Nbeqk65Sl-_wHg8130Ohz608RkpBiA-RA0D5mN0o8-Bz5405ZkAlX4AJ-RjdqBAUcgMEtGCXpZuHne-trF_gKJIpV_4zdtrdtDerLknHduqscxH6EWhKUXl/s320/truck+nuts+3.jpg" width="321" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Seriously?<span style="font-size: small;"> </span>I don<span style="font-size: small;">'<span style="font-size: small;">t e<span style="font-size: small;">v<span style="font-size: small;">en</span></span> know where to start<span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: small;">If I wer<span style="font-size: small;">e an FBI profiler <span style="font-size: small;">tracking <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">a </span>killer w<span style="font-size: small;">ho<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> was last seen speeding away from<span style="font-size: small;"> the crime scene in<span style="font-size: small;"> a </span></span>truck<span style="font-size: small;"> equipped with<span style="font-size: small;"> an</span> enormous set of <span style="font-size: small;">huevos</span></span> <span style="font-size: small;">swaying back<span style="font-size: small;"> and fo<span style="font-size: small;">rth</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> -</span> and that was my <span style="font-size: small;">ONLY</span> lead<span style="font-size: small;">,</span> </span>this would be my prof<span style="font-size: small;">ile of th<span style="font-size: small;">at</span> <span style="font-size: small;">killer:</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Most likely a white male, aged 18-<span style="font-size: small;">4</span>6<span style="font-size: small;">.<span style="font-size: small;"> <i>(<span style="font-size: small;">S</span>eriousl<span style="font-size: small;">y, have you ever seen a<span style="font-size: small;">nything else?)</span></span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Probably</span> holds a </span>blue collar<span style="font-size: small;"> job</span>.<span style="font-size: small;"><i> (<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">H</span>ey, don<span style="font-size: small;">'t get offended<span style="font-size: small;">, it </span></span></span>e<span style="font-size: small;">xplains the truck)</span></i></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Doesn't pay for his own gas. <i>(<span style="font-size: small;">...<span style="font-size: small;">a</span></span>nd <span style="font-size: small;">t</span>his would <span style="font-size: small;">e</span>xplain <span style="font-size: small;">sp<span style="font-size: small;">eeding anywhere <span style="font-size: small;">with <span style="font-size: small;">a diesel.</span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;">)</span></i></span> </span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I</span>mpu<span style="font-size: small;">lsive<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">, </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">l</span>ack<span style="font-size: small;">s good judgment.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><i>(<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'm guessin<span style="font-size: small;">g </span></span>y</span>ou don't <span style="font-size: small;">talk this <span style="font-size: small;">purchase </span>over with the wife)</span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Low intelligence<span style="font-size: small;">, <span style="font-size: small;">moronic<span style="font-size: small;">. <i>(<span style="font-size: small;">Dude, y</span>ou bou<span style="font-size: small;">ght <span style="font-size: small;">testicles!)</span></span></i></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Little to no</span> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;">social skil<span style="font-size: small;">ls. <i>(<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I</span>t goes withou<span style="font-size: small;">t saying<span style="font-size: small;">)</span></span></span></span></i><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Insecure<span style="font-size: small;">, conti<span style="font-size: small;">nually <span style="font-size: small;">s</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span>eeks approval,<span style="font-size: small;"> but fails. <i>(<span style="font-size: small;">G</span>uess what buddy, the <span style="font-size: small;">TruckNuts</span> ain't gonna help)</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Likely<span style="font-size: small;"> suffer<span style="font-size: small;">s from E<span style="font-size: small;">.D. <i>(<span style="font-size: small;">C</span>omp<span style="font-size: small;">ensat<span style="font-size: small;">es</span> for lack of virility<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">by open display <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">large </span>repro<span style="font-size: small;">ductive organs</span></span></span></span>)</span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Not overly endowed"</span>. <i>(<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">J</span>ust a hunch <span style="font-size: small;">B</span>oss)</span></i></span></span> </span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDWGaWgxoAHPBi-vGgt-5hS8KRKTyYJ4MUan0t2OIxP08xUEs75u0aan83vd64ZacAo9OrlKAhWMx639_uvfzXIxoEwOKfHoN2tl8FD-l79gQ2Q0Hw2ycXr2tOcz3FgZI2VteSEy3DIsJg/s1600/truck+nuts+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDWGaWgxoAHPBi-vGgt-5hS8KRKTyYJ4MUan0t2OIxP08xUEs75u0aan83vd64ZacAo9OrlKAhWMx639_uvfzXIxoEwOKfHoN2tl8FD-l79gQ2Q0Hw2ycXr2tOcz3FgZI2VteSEy3DIsJg/s1600/truck+nuts+2.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">That<span style="font-size: small;">'</span>s the guy! </span><span style="font-size: large;">Guilty</span>. <span style="font-size: small;">(</span>Case closed)</td></tr>
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But to each, his own. You gotta forgive some people their faults and t<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">hese guys probably don't k<span style="font-size: small;">now any better. Let them go <span style="font-size: small;">home in their gian<span style="font-size: small;">t truck, crack open a PBR<span style="font-size: small;">, and </span>pet their pitbull<span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></span></span> </span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYXDVO544Kdw5tY53QO6eXJc8dKISyxtrl5MGZtRfOpuqQrqWbYPtbJdfsNMzQ4NcfYG6DhupogMd9g-k2A3zXa5UIrp97KUWrN1uTfXFpt2h54AqBYB9_JNKSpxZ_wiHYFd9DzhF-dsAm/s1600/mazda-miata.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYXDVO544Kdw5tY53QO6eXJc8dKISyxtrl5MGZtRfOpuqQrqWbYPtbJdfsNMzQ4NcfYG6DhupogMd9g-k2A3zXa5UIrp97KUWrN1uTfXFpt2h54AqBYB9_JNKSpxZ_wiHYFd9DzhF-dsAm/s320/mazda-miata.jpg" width="320" /></a></i><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cavi<span style="font-size: small;">at: </span></span>The only cars that <span style="font-size: small;">COULD</span> use <span style="font-size: small;">a set of large <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">testicles</span> </span></span>are <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Mazda </span>Miatas, Smart Cars<span style="font-size: small;">,</span> <span style="font-size: small;">VW Beetles, </span>and all<span style="font-size: small;"> Fiats<span style="font-size: small;">.<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Ob</b><span style="font-size: small;"><b>servations </b><span style="font-size: small;"><b>& Lesson</b><span style="font-size: small;"><b>s Learned:</b> </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I <span style="font-size: small;">have been described as a Red<span style="font-size: small;">neck by others, <span style="font-size: small;">because I <span style="font-size: small;">have a Southern <span style="font-size: small;">accent, love to hunt/fish, <span style="font-size: small;">and even though it is a Toyota, I e<span style="font-size: small;">quipped my <span style="font-size: small;">FJ with oversized tires<span style="font-size: small;">.<span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">TruckNuts<span style="font-size: small;"> is a</span> <span style="font-size: small;">fad is one that we will all make fun of in the near future. <span style="font-size: small;">Despite what others suggest</span>, I do not think they should be <span style="font-size: small;">illegal. I<span style="font-size: small;"> feel it is important to maintain our freedom<span style="font-size: small;"> of expression. <span style="font-size: small;">Besides, it makes it e<span style="font-size: small;">asier <span style="font-size: small;">for us </span></span></span>all<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> pick out<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;">the <span style="font-size: small;">morons</span> driving among us.</span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span>If you were "on the fence" as to whe<span style="font-size: small;">ther to pu<span style="font-size: small;">t some <span style="font-size: small;">to put on your </span>truck or car, I am trying to persu<span style="font-size: small;">ade you not t<span style="font-size: small;">o commit this social blunder. Just <span style="font-size: small;">rust me<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> on this</span>, <span style="font-size: small;">do not. (Put a propeller back there or some<span style="font-size: small;">thing.<span style="font-size: small;">) <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">"<span style="font-size: small;">Friends don't let friends drive with TruckNuts."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">If you need further proof or <span style="font-size: small;">doubt my </span>profil<span style="font-size: small;">ing <span style="font-size: small;">abilities</span><span style="font-size: small;">, I provide the following:</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bum_o05y_w" target="_blank">TruckNuts Propoganda</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io7KhNyPoRI" target="_blank">Don't waste more than 3 minutes of your life watching this one.</a> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17923403446155391723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7923541554797139579.post-62038146059340670922012-12-19T10:21:00.000-08:002013-01-01T15:12:24.442-08:00My Idiot Dog - The Acquisiton <i>My </i><i><b>only </b></i><i>intent with this blog is to relate <b><u>my opinion</u></b> and <b><u>my experience</u></b> rescuing a dog who was "not kwite right", and to do it in such a manner as to evoke a laugh or two. </i><i>It
is a compilation of true stories and lessons learned about the amazing feats of agility,
stupidity, frustration, love, and the ongoing rehabilitation of "My
Idiot Dog". </i><br />
<br />
<i>I would like to blame (and
thank) Sarah McLachlan for guilting me into adopting this one-of-a-kind
dog. I dedicate the "Idiot Dog" series to her.</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Chapter I</span> <br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Idiot</b> (disambiguation) - An idiot, dolt, or dullard
is a mentally deficient person (or dog!), or someone (some dog!) who acts
in a self-defeating or significantly counterproductive way.</span></span></i></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW-JIss8npixHhcdbV-jJNg1moBKezamtMBRpo6LHCTgVookrOkYDEFcI8qpkpJ7cM4h5serJ9iw7JENLKatA_T9bXEsaxvgKnSRDCrwIlDwm6I_6DXKcCLlkRGhJ5miuUJtwiZ3PrbTGG/s1600/sarah+mclachlan2.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW-JIss8npixHhcdbV-jJNg1moBKezamtMBRpo6LHCTgVookrOkYDEFcI8qpkpJ7cM4h5serJ9iw7JENLKatA_T9bXEsaxvgKnSRDCrwIlDwm6I_6DXKcCLlkRGhJ5miuUJtwiZ3PrbTGG/s320/sarah+mclachlan2.jpg" width="320" /></a>There
I was, lying on the couch not paying attention to the TV commercials
when I heard it - the sound of a particularly beautiful female voice
singing <i>"In the Arms of an Angel". </i>The sad melody gently wafted through the living room with the promise to ensnare anyone in its path. <i>Oh No!</i>
I realized what was happening and frantically searched for the remote,
but it was too late... The images of neglected pets flashed across the
screen and I became entranced as the pitiful propaganda worked it's
black magic. Resistance was futile.<br />
<br />
When I awoke from
the spell I found myself standing in a small, semi-sterile room. I could
make out numerous dogs barking from behind a door. There was a short,
portly man standing before me, asking a question. I couldn't make what
he was saying out so he repeated himself. This time it was clear, he
wanted me to give him $200. "For what?" I asked. He began to answer, "well
there were shots, we had her chipped and fixed..." As he continued to give me a
list what sounded like medical procedures, I looked down and noticed I
was holding a leash. At the end of this leash was a medium-sized,
squirmy yellow dog, of a breed I could not make out, likely mixed.<br />
<br />
Then
it hit me. A couple months prior our family had moved across the country. Our
black lab, Bogey, seemed to take it the hardest, missing his dog
buddies back in Virginia who he played with on a regular basis. There
were few dogs he could play with at our new home so we talked about
adopting him a "companion", perhaps a free dog from the shelter... But
that was just talk. Then I remember the harpy's song earlier that day
on TV and it all became clear. I was "rescuing" a dog.<br />
<br />
As
I bent down to inspect my "free" $200 dog, she cowered on the floor,
tucked one of her front legs completely under her body and began to chest-plow herself across the slick surface with
pathetic short hops from her hind legs. Grunting strange noises
throughout this display and moving in no particular direction, she
eventually reached some carpet, taking this to a whole new level that<b> you have to picture in your head to fully appreciate.</b><br />
<br />
Upon
reaching the carpet, the increased drag of the material slowed her
front end down, but gave her rear claws better traction, thus allowing
them to almost catch up to her head. With nowhere else to go, her backside was thrust high into
the air as her legs continued their merciless propulsion. To make
matters worse, she still had one leg tucked under her body which caused
severe lateral asymmetry. This gave her a freakish ability to
rotate about her own axis, and apparently she was unable or unwilling to
stop. <br />
<br />
I call it the "Whirling Dervish" and it can only described it as a self-propelled, perpetually rotating face plant.<br />
<br />
I
looked at the guy as she performed this maneuver for over a minute and
informed him in a very matter-of-fact way, "This dog ain't fixed, she's broken".<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuM8tiWuJZbvGUFcJHW-xs_T1hZZAEUsKrp_53fEf-tCpEkxs5z8j3xAglrfJEJ0wDxxJ1OsSXK5OgERhsp021sDtTMhgXKUVQ0I28tYDQQCo6VMWaY10Fok8AIN5jVJM1jIPqBhUQm8FZ/s1600/IPhone+Stuff+070.JPG" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuM8tiWuJZbvGUFcJHW-xs_T1hZZAEUsKrp_53fEf-tCpEkxs5z8j3xAglrfJEJ0wDxxJ1OsSXK5OgERhsp021sDtTMhgXKUVQ0I28tYDQQCo6VMWaY10Fok8AIN5jVJM1jIPqBhUQm8FZ/s200/IPhone+Stuff+070.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">She carries these around all day. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">We lose a lot of socks.</span></td></tr>
<tr>
<td valign="top"><br /></td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
He assured me
that she was sweet and just needed to get used to me, suggesting I try
to pet her. <i>What the heck</i>, I thought. Besides, I had no choice but to stop her before she burned a hole in the carpet. <br />
<br />
As
she was incapable of attaining any forward velocity in this absurd mode of
travel, I was able to approach, kneel down and pet her. She stopped
moving, squinted her eyes and made a funny guttural sigh of relief.
After saying a few words to her in that high pitched voice we all use
when talking to new dogs, she sat up, opened her eyes, and for a
brief a moment, she looked like a semi-normal dog. I guess her stupid
pet trick worked because I felt sorry for her. "I reckon she'll do",
was all I said. <br />
<br />
As I wrote the man a check I could hear all my other choices barking in the other room and
I had to ask myself, <i>out of all those dogs</i>, <i>why the hell did I choose this one?</i>
There
must have been a reason. I must have seen something in her... I just
had to figure out what that was. Besides, if it didn't work out, the
shelter had a liberal return policy. For all intensive purposes, this meant that she was "out on
parole."<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>To be continued... </i> </span><br />
<br />
In the next chapter: "My Idiot Dog - Out on Parole and Breaking All the Rules" <br />
<br />
<i>Observations & Lessons Learned:</i><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi16bI9TMUZ35xrKIUECVxAxQk1P3s58ObubY7mTliJZ5kMBrz1dV4yESN83c24s78SKIg-UwnOCgjF2k2FJOYixe0hQ68XWNSV5XWu1CK9E2F1wzg5jpPmSLQkA617yKrw9n9Tk0k0ctmw/s1600/dog+adoption.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi16bI9TMUZ35xrKIUECVxAxQk1P3s58ObubY7mTliJZ5kMBrz1dV4yESN83c24s78SKIg-UwnOCgjF2k2FJOYixe0hQ68XWNSV5XWu1CK9E2F1wzg5jpPmSLQkA617yKrw9n9Tk0k0ctmw/s200/dog+adoption.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Unlike this dog, mine can't write. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<i>She
actually did all those things and I honestly had my doubts.
However, she is not indicative of most dogs you can rescue from a
shelter. Most just need a loving home and $200 in bail money, I just
happened to pick one that needs medication.</i><br />
<br />
<i>I
have raised and trained a couple dogs in my time and they were all
wonderfully behaved. However, I got them when they were puppies, so
they were integrated into the family and taught manners from an early
age. I have found that to be good at training a dog, it is best
to understand pack mentality, positioning and behavior. This is where
many owners fail. They
think of their dogs as human, but the irony is that our dogs think of us
as
other dogs! Why wouldn't they? A family is a Pack. </i><br />
<br />
<i>This dog may have been the runt of her litter because <b>ALL</b> other dogs instantly try to dominate her, even tiny ones,
but that still doesn't explain her excessive displays of submission. (There are plenty of great runts out there.) However, I
can guarantee she was poorly treated by her previous owners and was
probably greeted with a kick instead of a loving pat. Consequently, I think she
developed this premptive, uber-submissive maneuver with the hope that
her "caretakers" would take pity on her. I sure as hell did, because a
sane person would have returned her right away. But Hey! I never
mentioned anything about my sanity, that is between me and my
therapist(s). Let's just say that I was up for the challenge, with a
plan to rehabilitate and transform her into a well (enough) adjusted member of our
loving family. I'll let you know how it turns out.</i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><i>This is (was) my first "published" story and I would appreciate any constructive
feedback, comments or stories about your Idiot Dog. If you Do Not have something
to write about, you can click on the link below and start your own blog!</i></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gspElv1yvc" target="_blank">FREE DOG (black magic, click with caution) </a><span style="color: #cc0000;"><i><br /></i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><i>Thank you very much for reading.</i><i> Please feel free to share my story with others. </i></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><i>Grrr,</i></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><i>RJQ</i></span><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17923403446155391723noreply@blogger.com6